Footprints and shadows

Siblings. What is the first word that comes to you when think of yours?

Ever since I was little I could remember looking up to my siblings admiring about almost everything. Looked up to them when it came to food, music, and movies.

As i got older I started changing of course human nature kicks in.

But so much of me changed in the blink of an eye I became the dark one of the family. You see I have two older siblings and I’m the youngest. My sister is the oldest and is known as the total sweetheart. My brother the middle child is the one that has it all together and well me I’m the odd one out.

Of course I have such a complete different life compared to them of course. But I’m the one with the biggest mouth. I don’t allow bull from my family. I don’t take crap from people. I don’t people please what-so-ever. Growing up I didn’t see that i was so different and at the age I am right now I feel like it’s a bad thing. I know it’s not but there’s a part of me that just feels like I’m not good enough or that I should be a different person by the way I live and act.

Although I know what i’m doing with my life. I know what I’m born to be doing and know where I’m going with my life there’s this little voice inside my head that tells me why can’t i be as kind or accomplished as my siblings.

I know it’s great to not want what everyone else has and it’s great that i have my own idea of success. I guess this kind of thinking will never end.

I feel like my siblings are better than me with certain parts of my life. I know that’s not true and i shouldn’t think that way but it’s human to think that way. I don’t know if it’s the whole “younger sibling” thing hut it’s like an empty feeling. I don’t know if you guys ever felt like that or experienced something like this, butthis has been on my mind all week.

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