You asked for it…

Today I realized that I never get exactly what I want & how I want it. Today I put those results in my own hands. No more hoping or wishing, I make things happen for myself so This is it.
I didn’t know if I should honestly be doing this but I went for it anyways better to regret what I did than regret What I didn’t do. Here’s to telling you what you didn’t know, heres to goodbyes as well.
I look back a few months ago & I never saw myself in this position like ever. I realize now that it’s no too bad. After you left I took a glance at myself & realized that I had forgotten who I was. Before I met you I was Happy, Independent, For god’s sake I was KARINA OLAGUE. People who didn’t know me feared me, people who did Loved me. I was a leader who knew what I wanted in every aspect of my life. I was that girl that didn’t needed help or was too emotional too function. But for some odd reason everything changed a little before you left.
I think looking back I feel like the biggest idiot & incredibly stupid for wanting someone like you. I also realize that just because I did, it doesn’t mean that I should’ve. Kinda feels like a dodged a bullet. Ya know? You wanted it at one point, but after that long horrific event occurred you feel like there was a reason you didn’t get shot. So to explain everything well that would take forever & it’s not needed. What I do have left to say is I can’t believe I felt like someone took my shine when they didn’t have the power to do so.
Now though, I know now that my shine Is so much brighter & stronger. I also realized that the art of letting someone go is always in your mind. No matter how long or difficult it was to have them in your life you can chose to dump them & leave them behind or prolong that long absence of that person no longer being involved in your life. After my last post no longer worth it. It took me a while & it took someone else to make me see how I really am. That’s an incredibly strong, happy, intelligent, sarcastic, sassy, pain in the ass who love to make other peoples day & giving a smile to get one kind of human being. I know my worth & who I am. My morals, beliefs, & Who I am next time this won’t happen. I’ll never want to go through this again.
Don’t know if your actually gonna read this but
It’s okay I’ve learned to accept that I’m an idiot for wanting to be a part of your life & now I know.
     Yours Always,

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