This is too much

Why do certain things happen & most of the time it’s the complete opposite of what you wanted? I look back to last year & I think why did I have so much faith in certain people? Why can’t I just accept that some people aren’t worth fighting for? I guess it just comes down to how much they impacted me. How they treated me & made me feel. I know it’s it’s predictable to say all of this but I never thought something like this would happen to someone like me.

I thought I could let go of someone who was so desperately out of reach. For a minute I did but that didn’t last too long. It was and is something that hits me hard every time. As I look at what this person has done to me I think what have I become. I’ve changed in ways I never thought I would.

There are things I have held back from saying that I realized need to start being said before I permanently regret it. For the most part I never thought that I could ever feel this way about this person it just sucks that I did. You dont have to respond to this but this is me telling you what I need to say for closure. The worst has already happened and I’m okay with that. In the feeling of despair it’s occurred to me that my feelings for you have just gotten worse. Overtime I thought these feelings would have eventually gone away but obviously they didn’t. And now I find myself writing this letter to you  about how I was falling in love with you.

Now though I don’t even know where that stands & I know what you’re thinking how could have I been falling in love with someone I barely knew I don’t know but it happened. I dont care that you dont feel the same way or that you might think I’m insane but I rather tell you than have a chorus of resounding voices saying “I Could’ve but it’s too late now”. I live my life by not having any regrets and this not gonna be one of them.

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