Clean

I find myself writing about someone that I didn’t think would come back into my life. Happy to say I was wrong. That person came back but there not the same person. That is the best thing that I could say. And no I’m not being sarcastic about that.
I look back at my life & realize that some things about haven’t changed & there’s a reason for that. It’s because I didn’t want them to. I’ve kept the same outlook I’ve had in life & who I want to be & how far I want to go. To me that means the world because thats whats kept me at my best. I look back at the things that have changed well I could go on for days. I used to be someone that would look down upon people if you weren’t well read or didn’t know another language besides the one from your own culture. I was always on edge with a lot of people. But going back to the things that have remained the same now that’s a book I could write because I was always proud of those certain things.
I was always confident & still am in myself from every aspect of my life that feeling is great. I always dressed to impress myself not for others that still is me.  As I got older I started realizing I’m more of a leader than a follower it took me a while to realize that though. I never gave a rats ass to anyones opinion of me whatsoever now that hasn’t changed one bit & as I get older a lot of people tell me they admire that about me & let me tell you that feels great because as I get older I’m always scared about losing who I really am.
But most Importantly the people in my life. As I grow into my transition of knowing what & who I want in my life it’s been a struggle mainly with who. Some people have made it clear they want nothing to do with me while others are begging to come back in. I know what kind of people I want in my life because those are the people I aspire to be or somewhat look up to. It becomes really hard when theres the people who don’t want to be in your life but for some reason you both run back to one another but never fully know what to with what you are given. Sometimes you just gotta do what you know best. For me thats winging it & going with the flow. I was never the type of planned or scheduled anything in my life. I’ve learned thats okay not everyones like that and they don’t have to be. Just like you don’t have to be like them.
I’ve realized that you are given specific people in your life for certain reasons whether you know that reason or not it’s up to you to get a positive or negative outcome out of it. It took me a while to fully accept that not everything is gonna got your way & that you may have the best intentions for certain people but if they don’t want that, you ant force them. It took me a while to accept that just because you have a certain lifestyle that you love not everyone else is gonna love it either. Thats what go the here. Thats what has me realize that just because two people fight & are as different as night & day doesn’t mean they can’t be best friends or fix something that cans till be fixed. I hope you guys enjoyed reading this.
 Your Always,
                                                            kaffienatedkia
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