To you from me

Recently I’ve come to a realization that I tend to screw myself over with the people that don’t deserve it & I f*** myself over a lot without anyones help. I wrote something a while back to a specific someone didn’t mention this persons name, but pretty sure they know who they are. Don’t know if they read it or what not but I feel pretty shitty & stupid about doing so. Main reason because now that I read it on my own I didn’t like what I was thinking & the thoughts that popped into my head while I was doing so. It occurred to me that I wasn’t thinking clearly nor straight. And I clearly need to get a hold of myself. I honestly have no idea what I’m doing, I’m clearly just winging it.
That’s kinda what this is though. Me writing every thought that occurs to my mind or soul or wherever it hits me. I’ve gotten a lot of emails recently asking me many questions How did i get into blogging? What makes it so special? What does it actually mean to me? & many more questions so this is for your guys entertainment. Here’s my answers to your questions. Lets do this.
My first question is…

• What made me decide to start blogging?

– I was already into reading blog’s & as I started getting older I started questioning myself on why didn’t I do it since I know so much about it? So I finally went for it & now giving it my all.

• Why are you into reading blogs & what makes you so into it?

– So I guess to start off reading blogs for me was such a treat it made me feel connected to the blogger & made me sorta special like you connected on some level. The passion & energy the blogger gave to what ever they wrote is what made me so into it. Once you fall into this enticing feeling you won’t be able to stop reading.

• Aren’t you scared that someone you know will call you out? or if they know it’s about them, they’ll tell you something?

– In all honestly that terrifies me, but at the same time it makes me want to do it more. I have this thing where every time something scares me, I still gotta do it because I don’t want to regret not doing so & not knowing what “Could’ve been”. I know that out of some the articles I’ve written at least one person from who it was about has read one about themselves, but no one has actually said something to me. Looking at it though it wouldn’t matter if they called me out or not I’m doing this blog to write what I want & feel, with the experiences that come along with it. That doesn’t terrify me at all. This blog is to tell the person its directed to because I either never got the chance too or I was too scared to tell them in person.

• How do you come up with the topics?

– It honestly depends on what I feel like I can write & it comes with a lot of questions. Can I give out details? Can I describe everything about this topic well enough that someone that I don’t even know can picture this happening? Can I answer every question that I ask myself? It all comes out to all that. Most of the time it’s not planned on what I’m going to write. It comes out of what I’m thinking or feeling some part of me that has to say something that needs to be read & heard.

• How do you feel once you got all you needed to say out?

– At times I felt vulnerable but for the most part I felt very satisfied & relieved. When all you do is bottle up the things you’ve been wanting to say once it’s out it feels just wonderful. Like I’m such an idiot for not doing this sooner. When I first posted I felt giddy but I was also flipping out & giving myself an anxiety attack, that was awesome.

• What’s your favorite thing about blogging over all?

– I love that I get to understand the world around me it’s just writing my heart out & hoping everyone else likes what I have to say. It’s knowing that What I say is out there & if anyone else has gone or is going through a similar problem, situation or scenario that they’re not alone or the ending is never terrifying. Take what I’ve gone through & learn from it, live from it.

• Is blogging just a hobby for you?

– I can’t really give a straight answer to that. Writing is something I want to pursue as a career, I see myself doing this in the future. I know I would probably have my own site & all but writing actual literature is where I want to be. If I can affect my readers on my blog I can only imagine what I could do as a novelist. That would bring me more than just joy to my life. So to sum it up writing is the only way I understand the world around me.

• What do you want to the reader to grasp from whatever it is they’re reading?

– I want to make the reader feel as if they were there & apart of whatever it is I’m telling. I want the reader to feel an emotion out of the many I put out there. In a way make a story of their own. Something not quite as what I had anticipated to get out of what I had written. Maybe what you’re thinking while your reading what I wrote those are when your first impressions are the most important. I want the reader to feel somewhat connected to what I have to say like it’s some sort of related to a part of their life. Thats what I mainly want to grasp it’s the vulnerability.

• What’s an important thing to remember when you’re writing?

– I feel like staying true to yourself & saying what needs to be said & not holding back or second guessing yourself. It’s important to just say whatever it is that’s gonna give you clarity & understanding. Never misinterpret yourself and always knowing what you have to say. Don’t write what you think others want you to say or what is necessarily “right”. Do what you think is right because that is a solid choice in words whatever it is you have to say.

• Why do you think people choose to read your blog?

– I feel like I show a lot of emotion & vulnerability in how I write. I let my guard down entirely when I start writing it is whatever I put down on the screen. I want the reader to have a sense of why I’m writing whatever it is I’m writing. I rather let my guard down entirely than not show how human I can be. Expressing your feelings on paper can be so hard for some people, so when I choose to write in my best way it’s show casing every emotion & feeling I got with every little detail. I tend to write from my heart & mind, don’t really second guess myself.

• Is there anything you’ve learned from everything you’ve written overall?

– Yes, there are many things I’ve learned as each experience Ive written about & that’s its better to always say whats on your mind or what you’ve been lingering to ask. You don’t want to look back in a future full of regrets. Thats not the way to go. Even if your afraid to ask or say anything you just gotta go for it. As I started getting older and experiencing certain events that were just traumatizing me I finally started to see what I could do about it. I didn’t want to be like everyone else who just regrets everything they didn’t say or do. That was not going to be me I. What Im trying to say is that Im not gonna be someone that regrets not doing/saying something when I have that power & control to change it. I’ve proven to myself that I’m not that person, so why choose to be it?

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