I’ve been put through this situation whereas I don’t know what is the right situation & I don’t know how to go about it. I could go & tell this certain person but I don’t even know if I have the right to. I don’t think or feel like I do. Although I was involved & put in a situation because this was about me I feel like I have that right to tell this person everything. I don’t even think that’s the right thing to do but it is something I feel like is the right action to me. If I was in that exact position I would want to know. It’s just something that isn’t ideal to find out on your own or from someone you know.
I don’t know why this happened to me the thing Is I did it to myself, but I was already in so deep when I did something about it. It was too late to get out & not have to deal with this. I just think & know I’ve waited too long, it was months ago that this specific event occurred. That if I do it now it could go all wrong. Or this person won’t believe me & I definitely don’t want that to happen because than they could involve more people or just rat me out instead of doing the right thing. I’m stuck I’m damned if I do & damned if I don’t.It’s awful because I want to do the right thing but I don’t even know what that is anymore.
I got put in a very difficult position to be in, I honestly wish I had never met this person
If I were to put this person in my shoes It’s hard to imagine what they would do
Most likely they would tell this other person. That’s what I feel they would do.
They’re not honest to a lot of people I don’t know If they’re honest to themselves but for their sake let’s hope they are. I feel like out of everyone in this situation I was the one who got screwed over the most. I was the one who went after what I wanted I was so close to having it for keeps and then it all gets jacked up because someone else didn’t want it to happen. Like what the hell is this middle school happening all over again? Some people still have some growing up to do. I know I have a whole lot to do but if you can’t deal with some of the smallest things or learn how to go about them the right way did you ever start growing up at all?
Act mature about it & worst of all it made me do & say some things I do regret saying or doing. I apologized & I held back & still am on a lot of things I would want to truly say to this certain person. The worst part is that I still want to say them, I still know what I want to say & how to say them.The funny part is that it’s nothing bad. Guessing on the way these two certain people went about this entire thing though, It makes me not want to do any of it. It makes me want to suck it up & stay quiet, which blows completely because what I’ve learned these past few years is that it’s better to say the things you wish to say instead of leaving them unsaid, you can gain regret from not saying what needs to be said or not saying the things you wish to say. Because the thing is when you say what ever it is you say it can change to even the smallest things to the biggest. It can change an entire aspect of a problem, situation or event.
I feel like I don’t even have that option. I do but it just feels like I don’t. You know? Like you know you can say them but you feel like there will be consequences or like the outcome won’t be any good. I never knew that someone could take away your dignity, pride or freedom of speech without having to tell you not to say anything. Now I know thats possible. It feels like you don’t have nay rights or any say & the problem is that I was the done who had everything to do with this. That is why I chose to write about the results that have occurred because of this event. I want to have my words written down somewhere even if no one will ever hear them or know of them. I don’t think this is something I can learn from mostly because it’s hard to learn from a lesson you never got the chance to fix & you knew how to but it just wasn’t gonna work.
If I got the chance to say all I wanted him to know well there would never be a moment of silence. There are people you can’t always say certain things to. There are words you can’t always say to certain people. It’s something you learn throughout life. Everyone has to go through something different only to get the same reaction as everyone else. Sometimes you get hurt. Yet there are different types of hurt I’ve been through many types of hurt. Like hurt when you’re heart broken or hurt when you feel betrayed. You just never know what type of emotion you’re gonna end up feeling. Sometimes you don’t even know an emotion because all you’re feelings are mixed up & you don’t know what way you’re headed all you want do is try to figure but you only get more conflicted as you try to figure it out.